The "Support Sphere"
The premise of need arises from a theoretical view of support roles in the family termed a "Support Sphere". This is where the child is the central figure contained within a "sphere" of parental type support. In many instances the major support figures are the parents, though it varies from family to family. Beyond the parental figures are relatives, friends, community groups, teachers, coaches, etc. When a major support figure is lost, death being the ultimate example, a large part of the Support Sphere disappears.
If the remaining parent has the strength, or secondary support figures are near, the gap in the Support Sphere closes, re-engulfing the child. If, for whatever reason, the remaining parent or secondary support cannot close the gap, then negative influences can directly impact the child. Also in the case where a section of the Support Sphere remains open, the child i forced to fill the gap, and therefore take on the role of self-provider. A lot depends on the developmental age of the child or young adult regarding short and long term effects of the loss of support, or what negative influences take hold.
THE LOSS OF SUPPORTING ROLES IN THE FAMILY
There is not a lot most of us can do to make wholesale change in the world. But if we look around, at those in our midst, we can find plenty of opportunity to make the world a better place. Especially with children and young adults, their feelings and needs can easily be overlooked when tragedy strikes.
Many times the family members are in shock and it takes awhile before the reality of a changed world takes hold. At first the community rallies around the family and provides food, comfort and financial assistance, though in time this effort wanes and life returns to normal for everyone but the stricken family. Some parents or those in the supporting role never regain the emotional, mental or physical strength they had before the disaster. Sometimes there is only so much one can do and that is when the children must begin to fend for themselves.
HOW LOSS CAN EFFECT CHILDREN AND YOUNG ADULTS
What happens when the remaining supporting parent is on the edge and just can't find the energy to give the emotional and physical support the children need? What happens when insurance will no longer cover counseling? What happens when the child begins to hang with the wrong crowd because they can't afford to participate in structured programs? The loss is real and they are on their own.
WHAT CAN PARENT PLUS DO?
We can advocate participation in structured programs through mentoring. We will look to the community for volunteers and provide training for teachers, coaches and counselors. We will be a supporter, a voice, an advocate for health and healing. We will keep spirits high. We will lead to new roads of opportunity through sports, the arts and intellectual aspiration. We will be there today, tomorrow and ten years from now, if that's what it takes.